Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Motherhood: Finding Rest in the Father's Arms

Evie at one week old.
Evie at one week old.

It’s true that parenting teaches you a lot about yourself. I’m not sure if anyone ever gave me that advice or if I just assumed, as with all major life changes, becoming a mother would be as much an introspective process as an external one.

Tonight I reminded what a restless personality I have while I was rocking down my equally restless 7-month-old. As she struggled to find comfort and stillness in my arms, straining this way and that hoping for five more minutes of play time, I thought of how the Father holds me. How in the midst of my frantic need to finish a “to do list” or task his arms encircle me. If I slow down long enough to hear his heartbeat, to rest and soak in his spirit, gradually my limbs start to release tension.

He knows I need rest. He knows I need stillness to hear his heart for the world. His perspective is a million times over what mine is to my baby girl’s. He not only knows what I need in this moment or in the next hour, he knows what I need 10 years from now. He knows that when I rest in Him, I hear his voice more clearly.

As I rocked her to sleep tonight and I held her longer than normal — just to watch her sleeping, the only time she is ever truly still — I thought of a how God holds me. I laid my head against the rocking chair and in the stillness of the nursery we were both gently rocked in the hands of the creator of the universe.

He knew what I needed. He knew I had a long to do list and I felt overwhelmed and tired and spent. He let me struggle and strain in his arms till I found a place of rest. 

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